Thank You

thank you for my great parents...
thank you for the best brothers...
thank you for supportive relatives...
thank you for the catholic faith...
thank you for letting me finish college...
thank you for having a very challenging job...
thank you for having good friends...
thank you for my complete senses...
thank you for letting me go abroad for free...
thank you for letting me enjoy music...
thank you for letting me appreciate nature...
thank you for giving me patience...
thank you for being patient with me...
thank you for all your mercy...
thank you for all you graces...
thank you for the salvation...

Questions???Questions???Questions???

I will be turning 29 on October, but it seems I have so many things still undone. I had been working for almost 9 years but until now I do not have any savings. I don’t have my own house. I don’t have my own car. I had been to 6 different companies but I still feel that I don’t have yet the expertise in my chosen field – Garment Industry. I can say that I am fortunate enough being able to work in Vietnam and Cambodia but still not enough to boost my confidence that I am good. I have so many questions still unanswered. What am I here for? What’s my purpose? What is true happiness? Where I can find true happiness? Am I useful?

I have seen a lot of people same as my age or even younger than me that are very fulfilled and confident about themselves. Why I cannot feel the same way? I know for the fact that comparing myself with other people will make me feel inferior but comparison gives realization. It usually helps to open my mind into changes and improvement. Why is it very hard to achieve contentment? I should be happy because I have my father, mother and two younger brothers who are very supportive of me. It gives me happiness to see that I am able to help out my family but still…it doesn’t give contentment.

While working here in Cambodia, weekend and salary day gives me temporary happiness. Hanging out and talking with colleagues brings joy and ease in my life.
After all of this temporal happiness, there is somewhere that still questions life and a very deep emptiness inside of me. Emptiness gives sadness and makes a person succumb to depression. Last, year I was in a great depression. I was in so much pressure and stress. I cannot get my work done properly. I committed so many stupid mistakes and errors. There were mornings that I feel I don’t want to wake –up anymore. I would even pray for death to come on me. I just want to give –up.

Right now, the work is not much, but I do not know why I feel guilty that I don’t have much to do. I should be happy right? When I am alone, I ask myself am I being crazy? Why do I always have to worry in my so called life. Can I just be happy of what I have and no need to worry about tomorrow? I know I am not perfect but I am trying to be a good daughter, sister, employee and a Christian. There was even a time I asked my brother that I need to see a psychologist. I think I need professional help to ease down my anxiety in life.

There are times when I’m contemplating to leave this job and be a volunteer in helping people in Cambodia. But again a question will pop my head. How can I help others when I cannot even help myself. I just pray I will get over this confusion in me. I really want to be useful. I want to serve others. I want to serve God.

Chinese New Year - 2008

In-Front of the Hotel


May, Ate Connie, Myself and Ate Filma

Chinese New Year 2008 is coming. As our company’s expat employees were mostly from Chinese descent our company’s management prepared a dinner last night in (of course) a Chinese restaurant – Chung Shin Hotel. All of its foreign employees, Chinese and Filipino were invited in the celebration. Our subcontractor graced the occasion and some local employees were invited. The place is not an upscale one but they served a delicious rice noodle. Each table was also given one bottle of Johnny Walker (Black Label). At the beginning I was not in the mood to have a drinking spree but later on I tried to mix it with Coca Cola and I liked it.

As the dinner was finished earlier, we decided to proceed to Riverhouse (my new hang out…woohoo) for some dancing. We invited some Chinese and Filipino colleagues who never been there. We arrived before nine o’çlock and to our dismay the DJ will start only at ten o’clock. It’s so embarrassing but I really don’t want to go home yet. But as most of us cannot wait anymore until ten o’clock, we decided to go home. I was really frustrated because I had been waiting for the weekend to be able to go to Riverhouse. Well there are still so many weekend ahead and hopefully I will be luckier next time.

I had been enjoying hanging out in Riverhouse Restaurant and Lounge. I love the music they play and I love observing other people who are there to enjoy. It’s nice to see people from different backgrounds, different culture enjoying the fun of dancing. I am not a good dancer but at this point of my life I can say I’m suddenly addicted to dancing especially if Sean Paul’s ‘’Temperature’’ is playing.

I LOVE SEAN PAUL - TEMPERATURE

I appreciate Sean Pauls music since before but now I truly madly love his ''Temperature''. And this music video of Temperature is hilarious and entertaining. Check it out!!!

My First In Cambodia

SKYPARK GUESTHOUSE
My First time to sleep outside our dormitory. Well after a tiring non-stop dancing in Spark Red, me and my friends decided to stay in a guesthouse instead of going back to our dormitory. The funny thing is they don't have vacant room anymore. The best we can do is to came up with an alibi and beg the front desk to let us stay with a friend who had already occupied a room. Fortunately, the guy in the front desk agreed and let us stay. The best thing is, he let us stay without any additional charge.





ASIAN SPICES
I heard from my colleagues that Asian Spices is serving a very good but cheap meal. My first time to eat in this restaurant and my first time to eat alone in Phnom Penh. Aside from enjoying the meal, I enjoyed the freedom of being alone. Wooohoooo!!!






AT THE TOP OF MASTER GRILL (SORYA MALL)
We found this new fastfood restaurant that serves chicken and rice. So without further waiting together with Vicky and Benny we went there.Unfortunately, there fried chicken is not ready yet so I have to change my order to grilled one. Well I say that they can never equal the taste of Chicken Joy in Jollibee but the good thing is at least now we found a fastfood thats serves chicken and rice. The best part - it is located in the nth floor of Sorya Mall overlooking the city.

El Shaddai

I learned to love this song while growing up. It gives me a certain high everytime I hear it.

Lola Eday

Today 2nd day of February 2008 will be one of the saddest day for my family. Our grandmother Mrs. Aguida Saminal will be laid to rest this afternoon in Polangui Public Cemetery. I went to the office today wearing a black long sleeves and black pants to enjoin my family in grieving. I may not be there at this very moment but my heart and mind is with them.

My lola (grandmother) is a well loved mother and grandmother. She was caring to her children and grandchildren. There was never a day she would not think for her family’s welfare. She is one of the most industrious and loving person I ever met in my life. I would remember she has this small pig pen and a garden in my Auntie Nee Nee’s house, she would wake up early in the morning to check her pigs and beautiful orchids. She would assist the maid on what to cook for breakfast and ensure it will be prepared before everybody would wakes-up. After breakfast she will go to the store which she manage together with my Aunt. During my stay at my Aunt’s house, expect that a day does not consist of a 3 times meal but rather a 5 times meal (Breakfast-Snack-Lunch-Snack-Dinner) and it’s a must. In the afternoon and night time, she loves watching her nightly soap operas which would make her cry, laugh, giggles and angry. My lola is a very religious person, she wakes up with a prayer and sleeps with a prayers. Her week will also not be completed without going to church.

It brings tear to my eyes and feel being choked every time I imagine that next time I will visit Polangui my Lola Eday will not be there anymore. She will never falter in showing her excitement every time she would see a grandchild coming to visit her. I myself had always been excited to see her and always looking forward to have a chance to visit her in Bicol. I will miss her sincerity in reminding us to take our of ourselves, reminding us that we have to persevere in his life, reminding us not to take for granted everything we have, reminding us to make our parents proud and reminding us to be a God fearing person.

My lola was always there for my family. She would help us financially, emotionally and I know we are always included in her prayers. My biggest regret was I never had a time to show her how much I love her. I never got a chance to treat her for a dinner instead It would always be her to prepare dinner for us. When I was already working It never came to my mind to give her some money instead she would still give me pocket money on my way back to Laguna. I was fortunate though that I was able to say “ I Love You’’ and how thankful I am for having a grandmother like her. I will always love and miss Lola Eday.

She will feel no pain anymore. She no need to take medicine or go to hospital. For now she will take a rest, have an everlasting peace and be with the Lord.