My Heart Cries

Lord let my heart and mind succumb in thy will.
Please give me strength to shed away from pleasure the world offers.
Let your angels carry me out from harm and misdemeanors.
May I be strong enough that no one will dictate my life aside from you.

Lord let my heart soften for all.
Please let me love without judging and questioning.
Let your grace guide me to share to the world the love you gave me.
May I be strong enough to live my life and love others unconditionally.

Lord let my mind traverse freely.
Please let me comprehend the things that I must stand up for.
Let your wisdom flow in me that I will think nothing but goodness.
May I be strong enough to fight what is right.

I am your humble servant and in you alone I found my solace.
I am your humble servant and in you alone I withdraw my strength.

Pilipinas Kung Mahal

The inadequacy of some countries to be self reliant aggravates the present state of recession. The worsening US economy magnifies the greater truth that most of third world nation relies solely to the fate of US. I am NOT an ECONOMIST neither a FINANCIAL ANALYST but it is very clear to me, once US falls, various third world counties crumble.

For a very depressing truth the Arroyo government kept on boasting that World Bank and International Monetary Fund are ready to alleviate grief stricken countries for some funds. How can you be so proud of unending list of loans the Philippines has to endure? Why do you feel Philippines is a BIG TIME when a financial institution or another first world country agreed to let us borrow funds? It is a SHAME that until now, after more than 100 years of independence from the Spaniards, we are still colonized by our own poverty and CORRUPT POLITICIANS. These POLITICIANS, kept digging our graves and justify to the WHOLE WORLD that we are nothing but a THIRLD WORLD COUNTRY waiting and begging for HELP.

In this very devastating time, why do the law makers and the government need to impose taxation on the remittances from abroad going to Philippines? Are they truly sick in mind that they think a 0.01% won’t matter in our pockets? Even a 1 peso does matter if you give a damn how you earn it.

In this very devastating time, when more and more Filipinos cannot even buy a single Pan de Sal for breakfast, it is a BULLSHIT that a police official caught carrying around almost P 7,000,000,.00 in his pocket and give a lousy excuse that it is for a contingency fund. They even have the face to tell the Filipino people that the will liquidate it afterwards. Please STOP under estimating the capacity of JUAN to think.

For a long time, I had given up my faith with our leaders. For a long time, I kept complaining why PHILIPPINES has to be in this state.

But three things kept me holding on, I won’t give up my Faith in GOD, I won’t give up my Love for this COUNTRY, and I won’t give up my Dream for my family.

I've Got Mail

My birthday was on October 11, but this is just as special as the 11th as I received greeting cards from two new found friends Phy&Pia.



The happiness you brought to my life.
Gives me smile in times of strife.

May the Angels guide you thru the night.
Until the Sun shows and give broad daylight.

I will pray for your true happiness.
I will pray for your dreams.

Sending you my kisses.
I will treasure you deep within.

''...Richie Ate Rice With Me...'' Remembering After 12 years

Richard Fernando, SJ
1970 –1996

In 1996 Richie Fernando SJ was killed aged 26 years by a hand grenade released by a student in the Jesuit Refugee Service technical school for the handicapped near Phnom Penh. On January 3, 1996 Richie wrote in his diary:

"I wish, when I die, people remember not how great, powerful, or talented I was, but that I served and spoke for the truth, I gave witness to what is right, I was sincere in all my works and actions, in other words, I loved and I followed Christ."

Richie Fernando was a long way from home. He was a Filipino Jesuit in Buddhist Cambodia. He was educated and full of promise in a camp where refugees maimed by bullets and land mines and scarred by hunger and disease fought for hope. He loved life in a land where life was hard and death nearby.

Richie went to Cambodia in May 1995 as part of his Jesuit training. He had entered the Society in 1990 and finished the novitiate and collegiate studies. Before going on to theology studies and ordination, he was sent to work at Banteay Prieb, a Jesuit technical school for the handicapped not far from Phnom Penh. Banteay Prieb describes itself as a "place that enables the disabled to tell their own stories, to gather strength and hope from being with one another, and to learn a new skill that enhances a sense of dignity and worth." Here people disabled by landmines, polio, and accidents learn skills that allow them to earn a living. Banteay Prieb means "the Center of the Dove."

When Richie arrived, his devotion to the students quickly won their trust. He began learning their Khmer language and came to appreciate their religious traditions. And he loved to share their stories, stories of survival during Pol Pot's genocidal regime, stories of the devastation of their society through poverty, displacement, and the nine million landmines that still plague their land.

One of these survivors is Sarom. Already an orphan, at 16 Sarom became a soldier; two years later he was maimed by a landmine. Sarom finished his courses at Banteay Prieb and wanted to stay on there, but school authorities found him disruptive and asked him to leave. Richie Fernando mentioned Sarom in a letter to his friends in the Philippines, saying that although Sarom was "tricky" he still had a place in Richie's heart.

On October 17, 1996, Sarom came to the school for a meeting. Angered, he suddenly reached into a bag he was carrying, pulled out a grenade, and began to move towards a classroom full of students; the windows of the room were barred, leaving the students no escape. Richie Fernando came up behind Sarom and grabbed him. "Let me go, teacher; I do not want to kill you," Sarom pleaded. But he dropped his grenade, and it fell behind him and Richie. In a flash Richie Fernando was dead, falling over with Sarom still grasped in his arms, protecting him from the violence he had made.

Only four days before his death Richie had written a long letter to his Jesuit friend Totet Banaynal. "I know where my heart is," he wrote; "It is with Jesus Christ, who gave his all for the poor, the sick, the orphan ...I am confident that God never forgets his people: our disabled brothers and sisters. And I am glad that God has been using me to make sure that our brothers and sisters know this fact. I am convinced that this is my vocation."


Three days after Richie's death, his shocked family and friends in the Philippines celebrated his funeral. At the same time, his shocked Cambodian friends carried an urn containing cloths soaked in his blood to a Buddhist funeral mound. In their shock they mourned; and in their mourning they gave thanks for Richie, the man they knew and loved, their son, their brother, their teacher, their friend.

Shocked by what he had caused, Sarom sat in his jail cell and mourned too.

In March 1997, Mr. and Mrs. Fernando wrote to Cambodia's King Sihanouk, asking for pardon for Sarom; somehow, someone had to stop the violence. Sarom had not wanted to kill Richie. "Richie ate rice with me," he said; "he was my friend."

Note: Please note above article and image was taken from http://www.jesuitmission.org.au/index.php?page=59. I sent an email to the Jesuits asking asking permission to publish this article in my blog and still waiting for their response. My intension is only to commemorate the legacy of a young man who fulfilled his life purpose. To be a man of God, to be a man for others.

Where is Bro. Richie Now?

About more than 12 years ago, I saw on TV a documentary wherein a young semminarian named Bro. Richie from Ateneo de Manila sacrificed his life for the safety of his community. I cannot recall all the details as it was long time ago and I think it was not even covered by big media networks in the Philippines. Fortunately, I was not able to forget his name as he was the one who made me dream that I would to the same for my community. This young man inspired me to look at the broader aspect of life and service to God.

When I saw the documentary about his life, It never occurs to me that I would be, in the future, have to travel to Cambodia. The country wherein his last breath was dedicated for the humanity and glory of God. I'm working in Cambodia for more than a year now. I never stop to think about Bro. Richie. But as of now, all I know is his name.

I'm 29 and I Thank God For A Great Gift - SISTERS!!!!!

My D&F Fammy

Thank you for accepting me of who I am.
Thank you for for helping me overcome my weaknesses.
Thank you letting me realize my strength.
Thank you for the friendship.
Thank you for being my family.
Thank you for all the laughters.
Thank you for all the tears.

I will forever treasure the memories.
I will always be grateful for the lessons.

Thank you!!!!!

Visiting Vietnam

September 27 - October 01 is a long national holiday in Cambodia as they commemorate Pchum Ben Day. They also call it Festival of the dead as they offer prayers & foods to their love ones who already passed away. In the Philippines, we call it All Souls Day which is commemorated on the 1st day of November and the All Saints Day which is on the 2nd day of November.

With this very long holiday, me and my other two colleagues decided to take advantage of this opportunity and visit Vietnam. We left Phnom Penh on Saturday at around 7:30 AM and as expected almost all of the people in Phnom Penh are going to their homeland which cause a heavy traffic in all roads.





Crossing from Cambodia to Vietnam needs to cross Mekong river. The road going to the port wherein a barge is waiting to carry our bus across the river was insanely flooded by buses, cars, motors, travelers, vendors, back packers and everything else. Based on my estimate, it took us 6 long hours of traffic jam in a 10 kilometer route. An original 6 hrs travel from Phnom Penh City to Ho Chi Minh City became a half day, yes, a crazy 12 1/2 hours travel. We arrived in a our final destination at 8:00PM.




Being a lover of long trip, the whole 12 1/2 hours for me was exciting and an adventure. It was my first time to travel this route so everything I see still amazes me. Inside the bus and hearing multi languages spoken by different races added up to my excitement.


About 1 hour after crosssing the Mekong river, I find the towns we are passing by greener and seems cleaner. I am a big fan of green fields or lets just say a fan of natural landscapes. For I know Gods magical hands has a lot to say on this.



We arrived in Bavet City, the Cambodian border before 5 o'clock in the afternoon. As usual, I was in awe to see the area sprouted by big hotels and big casinos. How on earth a thirld world country has the capacity to spend in this kind of luxury. I easily came back to my senses and realized that reality bites. In this thirld world country,same as my home, the rich becomes richer and the poor becomes poorer. Survival of the fittest is a common attitude.



We need to stop again in Moc Bai, the Vietnam border to also do some paperworks with the immigration. One thing made me smile to realize that it is indeed convenient for us to travel across Southeast Asia. Thank you for the ASEAN.

After Moc Bai, it gave me goosebumps, to see that the bus is passing by Tay Ninh province. This is the province where I work before. The last time I was here was almost more than 3 years ago. I kept on looking on signages and awaiting to see TRANG BANG INDUSTRIAL PARK, wherein D&F Vietnam (my first company out of the country)is located.

After seeing Trang Bang Industrial Park and passing by the bridge in-front of Cuchi Catholic Church, it brought back to me beautiful memories. Vietnam is the first country I ever traveled. Good and bad memories were still memories that I will treasure. It helps me to grow as a person and helps me to be what I am now.

Seeing the Maxi Mark department store brings back to me my weekends in Vietnam. It is funny to recall that my grocery list includes, Colgate's toothpaste and tootbrush, VinaCafe 3-in-1 coffee, unpopular perfumes and never to forget the dried jackfruit/bananas which I stock in my cabinet and bring home to Philippines as pasalubong.




I am definitely back now in Vietnam. My stay will be short but it will be worthy for sure. It struck me to realize that after 3 years, the progress is very much visible. Ho Chi Minh city is at its best and still growing. Ho Chi Minh City is now cleaner, richer and brighter. Peoples lifestyle is also growing with its nations economy. Never forget to mention that the discipline amongs its citizens has been maintained and even improved a lot. See those motorcyles? Either in the city or in the provinces, everyone is wearing a helmet which you cannot see 3 years ago.

One thing is clear to me, I LOVE TO BE BACK IN VIETNAM ^_^