Being Tested

it makes me happy.
it makes me smile.
though it hurts sometimes
to realize you can never be mine.

i won't insist myself.
i won't tire you down.
i won't hurt you
as long as you are happy i'll be fine.

serendipity is checking on me.
i won't give in
i won't throw my faith
let me pass on this one.

i know what i want.
i know what i need.
my life to you i offer
please guide me all the way.

None of My Business

Today was quite frustrating for me. I usually don't care about other people's business but as Im getting older I realize that I must speak up what I have on mind. This morning, I saw an article about ADHD and believing that what I am about to do is right I showed the article to my friend. Thinking that this will help her understand more about her child's condition. I apologized if I offended her in a way but it was not my intention. Now I do feel guilty if she was hurt. All mother's will do everything for their children and it was so stupid of me to tell her that maybe her son is experiencing ADHD symptoms.

Am I too insensitive? I was just concern but too bad i have to hurt my friend.

I want...

I want black nails...
I want highlights for my hair...
I want white gold necklace...
I want cross pendant in diamond and white gold...
I want a swatch watch...
I want versace red jeans & tommy girl perfume...
I want chuck taylor rubbershoes...
I want to go to Laos...
I want to go to HK...
I want to go to conquer my fear of heights, lets SKY DIVE...
I want my own digital camera...
I want to learn photography...
I want to star gaze, while lying on the beach near bonfire...
I want to JOYRIDE, a long drive till I get tired...
I want a body scrub.
I want a body massage.
I want to wear a beautiful dress on my brother's ordination.
I want to be beautiful on my brother's ordination.
I want a family picture.
I want braces and a laser treatment for my teeth.
I want to walk walk walk along the beach and sleep if I get tired.

Did I sound too selfish...hehehe...I woke up selfish today...

Blank.

Void.
Emptiness.
Uncontentment.
Questions.

Anxiety with my Dreams to be Reality

Since last week, after it was announced that four Filipino sewers were told that their contract will be terminated earlier, it gives me the feeling of uneasiness. I cannot take out from my head who might be next. With this global crisis going on, so many companies from different parts of the globe sent back home their Filipino employees back to the Philippines.

There are times that it gives me anxiety, as I am definitely enjoying the company where I am working right now. I might not be earning that BIG. But I can say I am earning more compared when I was still employed in the Philippines. Working abroad gave me independence. I learned more about myself. Characters that I never thought I have in me. I learned a lot from the people around me. Life definitely is not a bed of roses but it has so many things in store if you will just dream, pray, believe and persevere.

With more than 1 year of my stay here in Cambodia, I am not yet ready to give up this job. I love my job, I love the people I'm working with and I still have my dreams to pursue. There might be a crisis surrounding us, but this won't stop me to dream of having my own house, travel the whole southeastasia, good life for my family, and be ''someone'' someday.

I won't stop praying and working for my dreams to be reality.

Bro. Richie Fernando S.J.

Christmas Day on November 03,2008 - You Rock

Last November 03 I got a package from my dearest friend. It was like celebrating Christmas Day on November 03. It was so cool as I love all the stuff she and her lovely daughter sent to me. I really do LOVE IT ALL. But if I have to name my top three favorites? Well the red shirt, the Gucci wallet, and the jewelries. The coolest part is that she also prepared gift for my colleagues at work. Whew! I was really overwhelmed that day. It sounds creepy but once again I felt I am a very important person...hehehe...I am a very emotional person and I will not never forget this moment in my life. Thank you Super Mousy and thank you also to your lovely friendster buddy. Thanks also to your other half for being patient with you while collecting these stuff. You rock my world.

True Friendship

I got this forwarded message from a friend. I love this poem.

Khmer Water Festival 2008

From November 11 - November 14 Khmer's celebrated the yearly Water Festival. As I read on my Vattanac Bank desk calendar - this is the way the Khmer people commemorates the powerful Khmer Marine forces during the Khmer Empire. It is also their thanksgiving to the Gods of Water and Earth for providing the livelihood and welfare of the Cambodian People.

Living it...Loving it!

I'm happy...so happy.
It drives me to pursue my dreams.
Gives me strength to hold on.
Never been this contented.

Tears won't flow at night.
As I know in your dreams
You are holding me tight.
I will be fine. I will alright.

Days pass so fast.
I will live each day
As if tomorrow won't come.
Loving the way it is.

Broken pieces of yesterday.
Nightmares are just history.
Moving on to prove my worth.
Living my life on this earth.