Contemplating 20 Days Before Christmas

Twenty days to go before Christmas. Yes I am excited. I may be once again away from my parents and brothers but Christmas will always be a special event to me as a Christian. But honestly speaking, the commercial factor of Christmas helps to make the season more thrilling. Gift giving, the lights, the Christmas trees, the Christmas carols add to the excitement of the season. I am excited as our boss already informed us yesterday that we can have exchange gift here in the office which they normally do not allow, as not everyone in the office is a Christian, not everyone in the office is a Filipino and not every one believes in Christmas. There will be no fireworks on the eve of Christmas but there will be a simple celebration. We will feast with dishes we crave for a long time. We will have a videoke session which for sure will end up with dancing session. And as this is a day to celebrate, of course drinks will never be taken for granted. I maybe longing for my family but I know the longing amongst my colleagues who are mothers and fathers are terrible. Who would want to be away from their sons and daughters, from their spouses, from their siblings, from their parents on Christmas day? Everyone has a dream and mission to fulfill. Being away from our love ones is the heaviest sacrifice we encounter to fulfill this dream.

How I wish in the near future, lesser families need to be separated by poverty. How I wish in the near future, lesser families need to be separated by war.

Advance Merry Christmas and may we all realize the meaning of Christmas. GOD the FATHER sent his beloved his JESUS on Christmas to ensure that humankind will be saved.

Christmas is a perfect example of LOVE.

1st Day of December

When I woke up this morning, I can feel the cool breeze of December. I love December as it give you this feeling of special kind of joy. I really had a great childhood memories about Christmas season. My parents though financially unstable, made their very best to ensure we will all be happy on Christmas Day. New clothes,gift giving and of course Noche Buena. I will never forget that we would always put a sock in our window on the 24th day of December. When we woke up on the 25th, the socks were already filled with chocolates and candies. Now as a grown up, I will be celebrating again my Christmas away from my family. I will be celebrating it with my friends and colleague at work. I maybe away from my family but I am definitely thankful that my parents taught me that Christmas is not just about material things. Wherever or whomever I will be celebrating my Christmas,what is important is the essence why there is Christmas. Christmas is the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is the perfect example of unconditional love. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Being Tested

it makes me happy.
it makes me smile.
though it hurts sometimes
to realize you can never be mine.

i won't insist myself.
i won't tire you down.
i won't hurt you
as long as you are happy i'll be fine.

serendipity is checking on me.
i won't give in
i won't throw my faith
let me pass on this one.

i know what i want.
i know what i need.
my life to you i offer
please guide me all the way.

None of My Business

Today was quite frustrating for me. I usually don't care about other people's business but as Im getting older I realize that I must speak up what I have on mind. This morning, I saw an article about ADHD and believing that what I am about to do is right I showed the article to my friend. Thinking that this will help her understand more about her child's condition. I apologized if I offended her in a way but it was not my intention. Now I do feel guilty if she was hurt. All mother's will do everything for their children and it was so stupid of me to tell her that maybe her son is experiencing ADHD symptoms.

Am I too insensitive? I was just concern but too bad i have to hurt my friend.

I want...

I want black nails...
I want highlights for my hair...
I want white gold necklace...
I want cross pendant in diamond and white gold...
I want a swatch watch...
I want versace red jeans & tommy girl perfume...
I want chuck taylor rubbershoes...
I want to go to Laos...
I want to go to HK...
I want to go to conquer my fear of heights, lets SKY DIVE...
I want my own digital camera...
I want to learn photography...
I want to star gaze, while lying on the beach near bonfire...
I want to JOYRIDE, a long drive till I get tired...
I want a body scrub.
I want a body massage.
I want to wear a beautiful dress on my brother's ordination.
I want to be beautiful on my brother's ordination.
I want a family picture.
I want braces and a laser treatment for my teeth.
I want to walk walk walk along the beach and sleep if I get tired.

Did I sound too selfish...hehehe...I woke up selfish today...

Blank.

Void.
Emptiness.
Uncontentment.
Questions.

Anxiety with my Dreams to be Reality

Since last week, after it was announced that four Filipino sewers were told that their contract will be terminated earlier, it gives me the feeling of uneasiness. I cannot take out from my head who might be next. With this global crisis going on, so many companies from different parts of the globe sent back home their Filipino employees back to the Philippines.

There are times that it gives me anxiety, as I am definitely enjoying the company where I am working right now. I might not be earning that BIG. But I can say I am earning more compared when I was still employed in the Philippines. Working abroad gave me independence. I learned more about myself. Characters that I never thought I have in me. I learned a lot from the people around me. Life definitely is not a bed of roses but it has so many things in store if you will just dream, pray, believe and persevere.

With more than 1 year of my stay here in Cambodia, I am not yet ready to give up this job. I love my job, I love the people I'm working with and I still have my dreams to pursue. There might be a crisis surrounding us, but this won't stop me to dream of having my own house, travel the whole southeastasia, good life for my family, and be ''someone'' someday.

I won't stop praying and working for my dreams to be reality.