Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Killing A Day
It was holiday yesterday in celebration of Internation Human Rights Day. I heard that the Cambodian Government requires all companies to pay 300% overtime pay to their employees on this kind of holiday. It order to lessen the labor cost, the management decided to have overtime on Sunday which will cost them only 200%. So I was able to freely left the office at exactly 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I went to Canadia as I want to call my family back home. Here in Canadia you can find internet phones which cost only Riel 200 per minute or USD0.05/min call to Philippines. Unfortunately I was not able to talk to my father but at least I was able to greet my brother who will be celebrating his birthday on the 12th. I was also able to talk to my mother. I tried to call my friend but I guess she already left her office.
After the phone calls, I dropped by in the apartment of on of my colleague and her husband. With two more Filipinos, after dinner we had some beer. I finished off 3 cans of Asahi beer. I feel a little bit dizzy but still able to go home safely. Thank God. Sometimes, you just want to experience new atmosphere and enjoy other peoples company.
After the phone calls, I dropped by in the apartment of on of my colleague and her husband. With two more Filipinos, after dinner we had some beer. I finished off 3 cans of Asahi beer. I feel a little bit dizzy but still able to go home safely. Thank God. Sometimes, you just want to experience new atmosphere and enjoy other peoples company.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Acceptance
There are times that if you will analyze life, either it will give you a good laugh or a further confusion. Being an adult and passing thru different phases of life, it is such a fulfillment to realize that I had passed thru different hardships and chaos in life. I admit that ending this life is an option in order to be freed from the trials I am going thru.
I thank my parents for letting me know that GOD is the only one who has the right to give and take away our lives. I thank my brothers and friends for being there to keep me smiling and my reason to be happy. Though I cannot divulge to them my greatest fear and greatest apprehensions they were there patiently waiting for me to change. I feel sorry that my family received my unending rants, complains and uncanny attitude while I was trying to recuperate from the pain I was going thru. It was so unfair to them that I was trying to evolve on my own and trying to fix things by myself and not wanting them to enter my inner core. I had a very hard time to accept what I had gone thru. I blame GOD so many times. But the more I was trying to question GOD the more I cannot run away from him. With my deepest emotions into him I can only share as I was so afraid of accept reality.
Past is past. It still pains though to accept that is had happened. Maybe in God’s time I can forgive and forget. Right now, I am facing acceptance. I cannot change anymore what had happened. I cannot continue to regret and blame life. I will stand for what is in store for me today. I will be who I am. If GOD, took care of me and proved that I deserve to live, then no man can take away that from me. I will prove my worth on earth.
I thank my parents for letting me know that GOD is the only one who has the right to give and take away our lives. I thank my brothers and friends for being there to keep me smiling and my reason to be happy. Though I cannot divulge to them my greatest fear and greatest apprehensions they were there patiently waiting for me to change. I feel sorry that my family received my unending rants, complains and uncanny attitude while I was trying to recuperate from the pain I was going thru. It was so unfair to them that I was trying to evolve on my own and trying to fix things by myself and not wanting them to enter my inner core. I had a very hard time to accept what I had gone thru. I blame GOD so many times. But the more I was trying to question GOD the more I cannot run away from him. With my deepest emotions into him I can only share as I was so afraid of accept reality.
Past is past. It still pains though to accept that is had happened. Maybe in God’s time I can forgive and forget. Right now, I am facing acceptance. I cannot change anymore what had happened. I cannot continue to regret and blame life. I will stand for what is in store for me today. I will be who I am. If GOD, took care of me and proved that I deserve to live, then no man can take away that from me. I will prove my worth on earth.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
I Miss My Brothers
I don't know why but suddenly something creeps in me that makes me miss my brothers terribly. Most of my life I was with my brothers. Being the oldest among my siblings it was fun to see my brothers grew up. Remembering them as babies and now an adults gave me a fulfillment. Maybe because we grew up in a very close family adds to my fascination. I know that in every phase of our lives each and everyone of the family was part of it.
How can I forget those same colored polo, socks, shoes my mother would bought for them on special occassions. I am so proud of them seeing them in basketball uniform every summer. Made me even a prouder sister every Sunday seeing them as altar knights. Both of them were Boy Scouts and even got the Boy Scout of the Year award when they graduated from high school.
During our JS prom, my brother Jojie was not embarrassed to dance with me during the ball. I am not the prettiest and most probably the biggest girl in the dance floor but still my brother asked me for a dance. I was a proud sister everytime our school will send him to another town as a Boy Scout representative. It was an achievement also when our town sponsored their trip to Zamboanga for a Boy Scout event. Amongst the three of us, he was the first one to ride the airplane...hahaha...When he decided to enter the seminary after highschool it was painful to me as I know I won't be seeing him as much as I want to. But I was so proud of him to realize that at his young age he decided that he answered God's calling.
My youngest brother Ryan had his own achievements. After graduating from Technological University of the Philippines, we were so amazed that companies were the one offering him jobs. Just after his graduation, letters from various companies arrived our home and ask him for interviews. It was so amazing as I experienced hardships in applying for a job. At a very young age, his company sent him to Japan to further hone his technical skills and broaden his knowledge. When he went to Japan, it was the first time to be away from him that long. Hearing his voice over the phone made me missed him so much. I remember during his college days, he was so sick that we need to send him to the hospital as we was so weak already. I was so scared as I thought we would loose him. Thank God that he didn't take him away yet.
I miss my brothers, but as we are becoming adults and fulfilling our own missions I have accepted the fact that we will definitely be away from each others. I love them both so dearly that it hurts me so much if we had even little arguments. If we have time to be together, we tried to go somewhere to bond and catch up with each others life. Maybe over coffee, drinks or a videoke session. We won't get tired talking about our dreams and plans for our family.
I love my brothers and they are one of my inspiration to work harder and to live life with happiness. I will continue to pray for your happiness and success. I love you both so much and I thank God for letting me have you as my brothers.
How can I forget those same colored polo, socks, shoes my mother would bought for them on special occassions. I am so proud of them seeing them in basketball uniform every summer. Made me even a prouder sister every Sunday seeing them as altar knights. Both of them were Boy Scouts and even got the Boy Scout of the Year award when they graduated from high school.
During our JS prom, my brother Jojie was not embarrassed to dance with me during the ball. I am not the prettiest and most probably the biggest girl in the dance floor but still my brother asked me for a dance. I was a proud sister everytime our school will send him to another town as a Boy Scout representative. It was an achievement also when our town sponsored their trip to Zamboanga for a Boy Scout event. Amongst the three of us, he was the first one to ride the airplane...hahaha...When he decided to enter the seminary after highschool it was painful to me as I know I won't be seeing him as much as I want to. But I was so proud of him to realize that at his young age he decided that he answered God's calling.
My youngest brother Ryan had his own achievements. After graduating from Technological University of the Philippines, we were so amazed that companies were the one offering him jobs. Just after his graduation, letters from various companies arrived our home and ask him for interviews. It was so amazing as I experienced hardships in applying for a job. At a very young age, his company sent him to Japan to further hone his technical skills and broaden his knowledge. When he went to Japan, it was the first time to be away from him that long. Hearing his voice over the phone made me missed him so much. I remember during his college days, he was so sick that we need to send him to the hospital as we was so weak already. I was so scared as I thought we would loose him. Thank God that he didn't take him away yet.
I miss my brothers, but as we are becoming adults and fulfilling our own missions I have accepted the fact that we will definitely be away from each others. I love them both so dearly that it hurts me so much if we had even little arguments. If we have time to be together, we tried to go somewhere to bond and catch up with each others life. Maybe over coffee, drinks or a videoke session. We won't get tired talking about our dreams and plans for our family.
I love my brothers and they are one of my inspiration to work harder and to live life with happiness. I will continue to pray for your happiness and success. I love you both so much and I thank God for letting me have you as my brothers.
Friday, December 5, 2008
You
sun up, sun down
you i always see...
you don't know
how it pains me
whenever you dont
talk to me...
you give me strength
to continue
believe in my dreams
that i hold unto...
be still...
please be still...
im afraid to loose you...
you i always see...
you don't know
how it pains me
whenever you dont
talk to me...
you give me strength
to continue
believe in my dreams
that i hold unto...
be still...
please be still...
im afraid to loose you...
Contemplating 20 Days Before Christmas
Twenty days to go before Christmas. Yes I am excited. I may be once again away from my parents and brothers but Christmas will always be a special event to me as a Christian. But honestly speaking, the commercial factor of Christmas helps to make the season more thrilling. Gift giving, the lights, the Christmas trees, the Christmas carols add to the excitement of the season. I am excited as our boss already informed us yesterday that we can have exchange gift here in the office which they normally do not allow, as not everyone in the office is a Christian, not everyone in the office is a Filipino and not every one believes in Christmas. There will be no fireworks on the eve of Christmas but there will be a simple celebration. We will feast with dishes we crave for a long time. We will have a videoke session which for sure will end up with dancing session. And as this is a day to celebrate, of course drinks will never be taken for granted. I maybe longing for my family but I know the longing amongst my colleagues who are mothers and fathers are terrible. Who would want to be away from their sons and daughters, from their spouses, from their siblings, from their parents on Christmas day? Everyone has a dream and mission to fulfill. Being away from our love ones is the heaviest sacrifice we encounter to fulfill this dream.
How I wish in the near future, lesser families need to be separated by poverty. How I wish in the near future, lesser families need to be separated by war.
Advance Merry Christmas and may we all realize the meaning of Christmas. GOD the FATHER sent his beloved his JESUS on Christmas to ensure that humankind will be saved.
Christmas is a perfect example of LOVE.
How I wish in the near future, lesser families need to be separated by poverty. How I wish in the near future, lesser families need to be separated by war.
Advance Merry Christmas and may we all realize the meaning of Christmas. GOD the FATHER sent his beloved his JESUS on Christmas to ensure that humankind will be saved.
Christmas is a perfect example of LOVE.
Monday, December 1, 2008
1st Day of December
When I woke up this morning, I can feel the cool breeze of December. I love December as it give you this feeling of special kind of joy. I really had a great childhood memories about Christmas season. My parents though financially unstable, made their very best to ensure we will all be happy on Christmas Day. New clothes,gift giving and of course Noche Buena. I will never forget that we would always put a sock in our window on the 24th day of December. When we woke up on the 25th, the socks were already filled with chocolates and candies. Now as a grown up, I will be celebrating again my Christmas away from my family. I will be celebrating it with my friends and colleague at work. I maybe away from my family but I am definitely thankful that my parents taught me that Christmas is not just about material things. Wherever or whomever I will be celebrating my Christmas,what is important is the essence why there is Christmas. Christmas is the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is the perfect example of unconditional love. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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